Friday, July 30, 2010

Grieving and Moving On

Months ago when we looked ahead to this time, we knew it would be hard, but it was still difficult to grasp and comprehend.  Now that the time is here, I find that I am grieving.  I think that Mitch's emotions are different--he is filled with joy and gratitude, and I definitely am too, but I also find myself feeling more sad than I expected.  So if you happen to see me in town anytime soon, and ask me how I am doing, be prepared for a teary-eyed mess.  It's pretty easy to make me cry.  :)  Though it seems impossible to move on, time marches on and drags me along with it. Already it is starting to feel like having Patrick here was a dream.  There's not a thing I didn't like about that boy and I will miss everything about him!

Everyone wants to know how our children handled saying goodbye.  Of course I don't think Tirzah has a clue yet that Patrick is actually gone.  On our way home from the airport we stopped and visited the Bondy's.  She was very overtired and cried almost the whole way home.  Even a bath couldn't calm her down once we were home.  We had to leave almost right away to go to a Pre-Arrival Orientation with YFU for our next student coming (more on that later).  She napped on the way and woke up in a better mood, then went to bed without any problems but woke up screaming around 11:30 and spent the rest of the night in our bed.  I think we may see a reaction out of her when we are able to skype with Patrick.

Like Tirzah, Malachi doesn't really seem to understand what it means that Patrick is gone.  Patrick's dad sent me some pictures this morning from greeting Patrick at the airport and Malachi enjoyed looking at those with me, so I think he understands at least a little bit.

Josh hasn't mentioned it much, but he does understand that Patrick has gone home.  A few months ago when we sang "Happy Birthday" to Patrick's dad over skype, Josh said, "Why doesn't he just come over?"  So Josh possibly still doesn't understand that Patrick is really, really far away now.

Zeke was very funny.  He copied Caleb and said, "We can play Ages of Empires over the internet together."  Patrick said, "Maybe in a few years."  LOL

Caleb was sad, but seemed to pull out of it quickly and promised to email Patrick right away.  He also said he hoped they could get a game of AOE going over the internet sometime.

Eden and Micah both cried at the parting, and have talked about missing Patrick.  Micah likes to tell "Remember when Patrick would..." stories and Eden is stuck on "I wish I would have...".  I understand and relate to both of them!

Like I said before, once we left the airport and headed toward home our day was still full of activity and we kept moving, so that helped really distract everyone.  I now need to work on some large diaper orders that I put off for the past couple weeks (I haven't sewn anything in a while), so I will have that to keep me busy.  Life goes on!

We were excited to harvest some vegetables from our garden this week.  Patrick was busy and didn't get to try any of them.  :(  But I was surprised, because I didn't think we would have anything to harvest until after he had left.  So it was a nice blessing anyway.

Next week is the Benton County Fair.  I haven't entered anything in the past couple years, but this year I have some things I would like to enter.  The days snuck up on me however, and I have to get my preregistration forms in today--yikes!!  I am not sure how or if that will happen, and I will be bummed if I don't get it done.  I have a blanket to enter, plus I would like to do some pictures (haven't even picked those out yet), and I was thinking that Mitch should enter some of our sweet corn (only we would have to enter SIX ears...hard to give that up...LOL).

Here are some pictures for you (click to see a larger version):

{We love Nutella...Patrick got me hooked...eventually I got my game on and started saving the little gold foil seals from the top of the jar.  Only 3 seals gets you a free t-shirt from Nutella.  I surprised him with this t-shirt, and soon we'll have enough to order another one.}

{Cute Tirzah after a rain storm on Tuesday night.}

{Mitch's first harvest.}

{"Three of Larry and three of Bob" was what Mitch put on his facebook status.}

{Sweet corn is probably the best thing we could harvest, since nearly all of the kids like to eat it.

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