I just wanted to keep it real for a moment. Maybe shatter any thoughts of perfection you have about me. ;)
My sister called this morning. I picked up the phone simultaneously as Micah picked up the phone. Micah answered politely, yet I still barked, "I got it Micah, you can hang up."
My sister teased me, "You don't have to be so hateful." Was I hateful? I didn't mean to sound hateful. We discussed that for a minute, then she asked me, "So how are you feeling?"
"Hateful." I replied.
We had a good laugh and she accused me of being our grandmother. :)
But for crying out loud, this winter seems to go on and on without end!!! Here it is February 10th and yet the temperature this a.m. was -21 F. (That is NEGATIVE twenty-one degrees Fahrenheit.) I stood in the freezing cold last night and filled the van with gas. I am getting ready to go to a doctor appointment this afternoon and the temperature has warmed to a balmy -1 F. Yippee. (There is hope for the future--tomorrow's high is 30 F ABOVE zero. Hallelujah! Let's hope I survive until then.)
The kids are driving me nuts. They are loud and messy and they don't listen and don't clean up. Yeah, they're kids. And here I'm going to have another one. What happened to loving them all and them being blessings and that? Yeah. Keeping it real. Because sometimes real life clashes hard with theology.
But God knows that. He loves us tough. He has walked these paths of exhaustion. He orders our days and knows what lies ahead. He knows the internal struggles we face with sin. He knows our disobedience even better than we know it ourselves. He loves and loves and loves without end. His patience is vast. He puts up with our noise, complaining, and requests. He deals with our attitudes and failures and screw-ups. He disciplines and corrects appropriately (our disobedience does not go without consequence). I'm not a perfect parent. But He is.
I pray that something good will come out of this in spite of me. Because there's just no way these kids are going to turn out right without God's help!